Things I learned on January 23, 2010:
1. I am bossy - even when I am bleeding internally. And I have surprisingly good recall of important facts under the same circumstances.
2. Having your clothes quickly stripped from you in a room full of medical staff isn't nearly as embarrassing as you might think.
3. Apparently humor helps me handle stress. I still feel the need to try to make jokes even minutes before emergency surgery.
4. There is no way to express sufficient gratitude to people who save your life.
5. I have a lot of internal scar tissue from my C-section with Adam - and now I have lovely pictures to prove it.
6. Blood transfusions take a looooong time and I have a new appreciation for people who donate blood.
7. I am good at choosing husbands.
8. It is indeed possible to drive from my house to the Santa Clara Kaiser in under 10 minutes, and that Justin is very good at driving fast.
9. Blessings delivered in a noisy, busy, bustling ER room are as effective as those given in more tranquil circumstances.
10. Our bodies are amazingly resilient things.
Saturday night I was sitting watching "Untamed Heart" (great movie) when all of a sudden I knew something wasn't right. I had been diagnosed about 2 weeks earlier with an ectopic pregnancy and had been treated with medication. I knew there was a chance of it rupturing still, but things had been going well - feeling good, blood results being better than hoped for. But Saturday night, I knew - I knew it had ruptured. Within about 2 minutes we knew we had to be getting to the hospital. Our AMAZING friends and close neighbors, Miguel and Tiffany rushed over to our house and Miguel and Justin helped me slowly shuffle my way to the car. Every breath I took was a battle not to let myself pass out. Scary doesn't quite come close to describing it. I wondered if I was going to die. I really did, because I knew that was a definite possibility if we didn't get to the hospital quickly enough. Justin quickly placed his shaking hands on my head when we were in the car and gave me a blessing that my body would be okay until we got to proper medical attention. The drive was a blur. Justin knows how much I don't like it when he drives really fast, so at one point he turned to me and said, "I'm going to drive fast", and I was totally okay with it. We pulled up to the ER and Justin ran inside to get help. I remember looking out the window and seeing 2 nurses jump up from behind the desk and I was so grateful to see that people were responding to Justin quickly and seriously. As they wheeled me in they asked me what was happening, and Justin has been teasing me how I quickly diagnosed myself and talked to them like I was a doctor. . . "ruptured ectopic pregnancy near the right ovary! One dose of methotrexate given two weeks ago. Pregnancy hormone coming down well. Sudden onset of light-headedness, faintness and abdominal pain about 20 minutes ago. My mouth is bone dry". I can't help it. I just knew it was important that they got accurate information right away. They quickly got me on a gurney and began simultaneously examining me and stripping me of all my clothing. And let me tell you, in those circumstances, any trace of dignity or modesty is out the window. IVs were started, ultrasounds were performed (who would have thought some jelly and a smooth hunk of plastic could be so painful), pain medication was started (thank goodness!), and other surgeries were bumped so that they could get me in as soon as possible. As they moved me up to the operating room I was joking that their job was much harder because I had eaten a doughnut about 2 hours prior (seriously, I never eat doughnuts, but on the one night where they are asking you what you ate last, I had to tell them ‘chocolate covered doughnut’. Figures). The orderly said, “Well, you’re looking at a 250 pound vegetarian”. They prepped me for surgery and I was cocooned with warm blankets like an Eskimo and it felt lovely. I asked that they tell me when they were going to start giving me the anesthesia so I wouldn’t get scared that I was passing out. But I have no recollection of anything from that point on. Whatever they gave me was quick and effective (they had told me previous to the surgery that sometimes some people have some recollection of the surgery because they don’t want to put you too deep under in case your blood pressure drops too much). So, thank goodness that didn’t happen. I can’t even imagine. I woke up and soon Justin was there feeding me ice chips which felt like eating manna. I felt so much better and they told me that they had to remove my right ovary and fallopian tube and that I lost about 1 liter of blood. I was just so grateful to be alive, I didn’t care what they had to yank out. From there it was a couple of days spent in the hospital where they were checking on my hematocrit to see how low it would go. It ended up getting low enough that they had to give me a blood transfusion. Two units of O+ blood, coming up! It was comforting when 2 nurses came in to double check my ID, my blood type & the expiration date on the blood before they gave it to me. I love redundant protocol when it comes to my health. Each bag took 3 hours to ooze into my system. So, after almost 2 days stay in the hospital I got to go home. Recovery so far has been going very well. Easier than it was after my c-section with Adam, actually.
This experience is definitely one for the record books and one I would hope never to have to repeat. And through it all Justin was there with me. He was next to me every moment he could be. Never leaving my side. There was a man we passed on our romantic walks down the hospital corridors who didn’t seem to have anyone with him. After returning from one of our walks I cried because I wanted him to have someone there with him. I am so grateful for a loving husband who told me he loved me, gave me blessings, held my hand, fed me ice chips, cried over & prayed for me, and slept on an incredibly uncomfortable chair for two nights for me. If that isn’t commitment and love, I don’t know what is.
I can't express the amount of love I have felt for all of those who helped us this past weekend. Each one of you made it possible for me to get the help I needed. Thank you for you love and support.
